Nervous about today...need some encouragement...

This afternoon I have to go to a family function, a birthday party for my cousin's wife. Which means I have to see alot of my family that I havent seen since Christmas which was 4 days post-op.

Alot of my family gave me **** about my surgery, many of them are morbidly obese themselves. I normally try and avoid my extended family because they are so opinionated and ridiculous and try to start arguments. Bible thumpers who do nothing to improve themselves or serve the Lord but point fingers at everyone else, who hold hate in their hearts for anyone of different race and religion 
(yes, I said Bible Thumper meaning someone who uses religion as a basis to hate and judge others).

I am afraid of the following scenarios:

1. Afraid  I will blow up on someone in public. I am alot less tolerant  of idiocy since surgery
2. Afraid that I cant fake being nice which I am worse at since surgery
3. Worried it will be obvious of my distain at most of the people there..

I need some encouragement...

Just be you! It is ok to speak your mind especially if others feel that they can and hurt your feelings or others. Be strong and confident in your healthy decision that you made for yourself to be healthy, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. The more you sit and stew inside the more you may probably blow up. Stay politely as long as you think you need then leave if its getting uncomfortable. Have a positive mind going in and you will be fine.

You are in such a better place yourself, I say try to see them all in a light of compassion.  Their jabs at you are just a reflection of their own unhappiness.  If they ask something rude, you can always use the old Ann Landers line "I'm wondering why you would ask such a thing?"   Try to gravitate to someone who is happy, who you connect with.  Expect the haters, but don't give away your power to them by engaging.  I try to see these kinds of events like a game and try to "win" by not giving away my own personal peace. 

Well done at your fantastic loss so far you are doing well. 

Don't let the bible thumpers get to you.  Religion can make the most evil of people.  They go to church and say are sorry on a sunday and hope that they will be forgiven all the hateful things they say and do throughout the week.
NO if they were really christian they would be kind to every one every day of the week.
I am a christian person who works to that ethos
Anyway go and smile and if it all gets too much for you excuse yourself and leave.Remember that you are the better person and you can do it
Good luck

Thank you Elz, Therese, and Sooz- all good pearls of wisdom. I will go into this with a positive attitude, I wont expect to be accosted right off the bat, I will surround myself with people who are not like that, and I will leave if I feel uncomfortable.

Good morning...That is quite a dilemma!  Since the party is for a more distant relative, not like sibling or parent, you could go with the intent to stay an hour at the most...You have done very well post-op, and look so nice        ....and can tell by your posts that you really think things thru (shows intelligence & sensitivity, but fiesty too).   I would hope you can grit your teeth     (if necessary) long enough to put in an appearance.  If they're still determined to give you **** about surgery, you can avoid the ones who are like that, and spend time with the ones you are closest to,  I am hoping it won't be as bad as it could be...but sometimes Bible Thumpers are pretty self-righteous people...maybe because of their own insecurities.

Take care and hope the day goes well, however you handle it. ( I'll be drinking the prep today and hanging out in the "powder room"!  woohoo!)  Viv 

Sounds like you are dealing with an Italian family who think they are always right....Well, you have the proof that you are losing. They will say to you...."Oh, Im sure you can have a little of this macaroni..it wont make you gain if you just taste it". You will probably hear that you took the easy way out. That you were crazy to do this...etc...Im in your shoes..

Just say this is my body....and I feel good...so just bless me thank you!....If they start arguing with you just say....Basta.....Take care of yourself.....!

I have 2 brothers and a sister who are like this...(my parents passed)....They are from the old generation. They come to every holiday and argue for the sake of arguing. Always debating...I just sit there and say nothing...and let them sound like idiots. If it gets too heated I say....hey...enough of this BS. and change the subject.

I didnt tell them of my surgery till the day before.....They made fun of me when I had the band...

Dont worry...you cant change them..but you can change yourself....to not put up with that nonsense!

Good luck friend!.........

I'm sorry your family has the Bible so twisted that they find hate in it.. If you have to go to this function then I would say to stay away from the ones that make you most miserable.  If you see them coming go to another area of the party.  Keep the party a happy one for your cousins wife and quietly slip out as soon as you can.  Try and be gracious and a perfect example of what your family should be rather than what they are.  I would hate to think that your family would believe that having a surgery that could better their lives caused you to be disdainful of them as it could be interpreted as you thinking you are better than them because of your surgery. 

Hold your head up and don't let em get to you,you are a lady and captain of your own ship. Do it!!

All of the wisdom coming from so many different people is really insightful and helpful.

I have manners and will gravitate to those who are positive. I will not make a scene or be goaded by others. Like someone said I am a lady and can hold it together through anything, this will just be a minor blip on my radar and I can handle anything.

Just knowing I have the support from you guys means so much to me!